


to build a home

by lacepirate



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Fluff without Plot, M/M, Panic Attack, Un betaed, please listen to the song as you read i promise it will make it 1014827x better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-15
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2018-03-23 01:09:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3749374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lacepirate/pseuds/lacepirate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>he'll always end up in Hajime's arms.<br/>-<br/>my apology fic to Scarlett for cheating on iwaoi with oikage</p>
            </blockquote>





	to build a home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DraconianScribe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DraconianScribe/gifts).



> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUFJJNQGwhk

It was the girls. It’s always the girls. The girls following him every minute of every day that start it. Maybe it was because he needed to hide the fact that he didn’t like anything about the female form, or maybe it was the fact that he had to hide it around everyone he cares about, just so they won’t alienate him and treat him like he’s a different person than before they knew; he doesn’t know. The stresses are becoming more and more prominent on the forefront of Oikawa’s mind and Iwaizumi always notices. He focuses less during games, misses tosses by the tiniest amount, as well as his serves losing power and precision.

 

He’s trailing behind Iwaizumi, the cold heat of anxiety creeping up his throat and into his mouth, the sour taste of bile lingering on his tongue. He balls his hands in to fists inside of his pockets in a pathetic attempt to get the tears to stop from spilling over. A broken sob heaves his chest and Iwaizumi stops and hastily inspects his best friend. Oikawa falls to his knees and disregards the pain shooting up from his legs.

 

“Hajime, I can’t do it, I can’t do it, I _can’t do it_.”  

 

Iwaizumi says nothing. He doesn’t need to. He outstretched his arms and wrapped them around Oikawa’s quivering frame. His hands slide underneath the taller boys’ thighs and instinctively he wraps them around Iwaizumi’s waist as he stands up. Iwaizumi starts home again as fast as his legs will carry him, paying no heed to the weight curling around his torso and the growing wetness on his shoulder.

 

The air around them is still silent save for Oikawa’s quiet sobs when Iwaizumi walks in the door to his home. He continues and carries the boy up the stairs to his room to calm him down the only way he’s ever known how. Still holding him, Iwaizumi sets himself down in front of his piano bench, cradling the setter against his chest still like a newborn child. His arms fit perfectly around Oikawa’s ribcage, lightly placing his fingers on top of the ivory keys. He finally placed his head on the outward curve of Oikawa’s neck, coaxing the boy to relax.  

 

Fingers glide over the smooth expanse for a moment before a familiar harmony flits inside of Oikawa’s ears and feels the vibration of Iwaizumi’s vocal cords against his shoulder.

 

_There is a house built out of stone…_

 

Oikawa tightened his arms around Iwaizumi’s waist, palms grasping at the back of his school uniform and lightly crumpling the material.

 

_wooden floors, walls and window sills…_

 

_tables and chairs worn by all of the dust_

 

_this is a place where I don’t feel alone,_

 

_this is a place where I feel at home._

 

The tempo sped along with the movement of Iwaizumi’s hands

 

_And I built a home_

_for you_

_for me_

 

_Until it disappeared_

_from me_

_from you_

 

…

 

_Held on as tightly as you held onto me_

_Held on as tightly as you held onto me..._

 

Oikawa gripped Iwaizumi as if the end of his life were two seconds away and the only thing he could think to do was hold on to his best friend.

 

Iwaizumi’s hands slowed and halted, replacing themselves on Oikawa’s back and involuntarily running them over the notches of his spine.

 

“You’re thinking too hard and overdoing it. It’s not a game, Tooru. Just let it be what it is.”

 

Oikawa drew in a shaky breath before speaking.

 

“But it’s every day, every day I have to do this and every day it kills me more. I can’t keep doing this, I _can’t_.”

 

Iwaizumi placed a small peck on his cheek.

 

“Stop thinking about it, I’m here _now_ , you’re with me _now_ , real time. Right here.”

 

Another shaky inhalation and a moment later, Oikawa closed his eyes again, resting his forehead on Iwaizumi’s collar bone.   

 

“It’s always going to be like this if you keep thinking about it. Let it go, okay?”

 

He forced Oikawa’s red rimmed eyes to meet his own.

 

“I love you, that’s all that matters.”

 

Oikawa paused and gave a sheepish smile, letting more tears trickle down his cheeks.

 

“I love you too, Iwa-chan.”

 

Iwaizumi pressed their foreheads together and listened to Oikawa’s controlled breathing as he counted with him to the expanding of his lungs.

 

He no longer cared for anything beyond the doorframe of Iwaizumi’s room, and eventually falling asleep while being cradled in his boyfriend’s arms, filled with breathless ‘I love yous’ and light kisses trailed all over his neck, jaw and the entirety of his face.

 

Uncertainty still crept up his spine and into his thoughts; but he knew as long as he was with Iwaizumi, ‘I love you’ meant forever and always.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading, comments and kudos are always appreciated, I love you all so much  
> I hope you have an amazing day! ^^


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